Updated: Oct 20, 2020
Growing up, I thought it was obvious that I was poor. We lived every day to the bare-bones. At the market when they saw us and they knew, without asking.
Being poor is knowing exactly how much everything costs.
Being poor is hoping the stomach pain goes away.
Being poor is relying on people who don’t give a damn about you.
Being poor is people thinking they know something about you by the way you talk.
Being poor is off-brand clothes…instead of Rebooks we had Responds. Instead of Addidas we had Adidos.
So you see I didn’t have to say a word.
I felt the stigma of poverty every hour growing up, even in my own home, but I never admitted to friends at school just how desperate my situation was, I lived in my own made-up reality.
I remember sitting on the kitchen floor saying to myself, they said hell was real, I don’t need conceiving. Something snapped and I ended up on the floor crying and screaming and felt like I was drowning. I fell to the floor while the sun was still up. Night came, and I was still on the floor and I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to because I didn't want to go back to the life I was living. We were living in our own hell on earth.
I had nothing to lose and I was willing to sell my soul just to have warm food in my stomach, clean clothes, respect when people look at us.
But just like many other gods…. The devil never did show up. Just like many other gods, he was silent and my battle wasn’t worth fighting for. Am sure he had many other important people to see.
My soul had no value to his mission. A skinny young African what could I possibly have to offer to advance his objectives….whatever that is.
They say in the world only the strong survive. A truly good God shouldn't tolerate bad guys. And us good guys, since we're on His side, we should be getting all the fun! We should be driving the finest cars, living in the biggest mansions, having food to eat.
“Walking towards hope”
It’s a small word, but its meaning is far from small. But now that I come of age, I have come to an understanding.
Hopelessness is a very real thing. Maybe you feel overwhelmed, trapped, or insecure; there might be challenges that someone is facing where there seems like no solution is ever possible.
There is always hope no matter how frustrated you feel. There is always hope no matter how much pain and heartache you’ve endured.
Hope always exists, even if it so small you cannot see it, there is hope; even if you have been bullied, there is hope; even if you’ve been a victim, there is hope; even if you’ve encountered the darkest of situations, there is hope.
Having hope is a personal decision, a bold conviction—a choice. Hope is something worth holding onto; a conviction that comes from gut purpose, and a clear understanding of what drives you
If you’ve lost hope and can’t find a reason to ever hope again.
Maybe you’ve uttered words like these without really believing they will come to pass. So often, expressions of hope are laced with discouragement and doubt, especially in the face of overwhelming loss, repeated failures and betrayals of trust. No matter how serious your circumstances, they are subject to change, and you can have hope.
Hope should be the spark you need. It should make you jump up and do something. However, we should recognize the fact that we cannot merely “focus on strengths of hope.” We also have to keep on WORKING HARD.
Success is not luck, we have to create our own luck … by doing the right things … so we get the effects we want.
We need you to make things happen.
Thank you so much for visiting.
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