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[Self-gratification] Starin' Through My Rearview - looking back at the world

Updated: a day ago

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There I was being questioned by the SARS officer with his torn clothes and useless question.


“What state are you from and what documents do you have in the envelope,”

 he asked.


It baffles me how my state and the envelope are connected, but I guess I must entertain this meaningless interaction. But before I could leave, he asked the vital question have been waiting for, “Boss what do you have for me? I don’t mind anything” 


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Here we go, he wants a bribe.Yes Yes that’s it...do you know who I am. I can feed your entire family for a year, the thought came to my mind.  


Not wanting to be rude I reply “Nothing sir, maybe next time, I will look after you”

Whether old or young, cultural or not, they all the same. THEY ALL BEG. What can a I do, when everyone is willing to "sell their birthright"?


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Call it what you want ...self-centered, selfishness, self-gratification BUT YOU CANNOT ARGUE

WITH THE FACT.


I’m Better Than You


I’m just plain better than you. Somewhere deep inside I believe it’s true.

I don’t have nearly all the information you have, and probably only half the wisdom, yet in my heart I am convinced you would have made a far better decision if only you would have asked me to guide you.

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....After all, I’m better than you.


I had this conviction of my own superiority, runs deep in the background of my life. If you’re honest with yourself, you may well find that it’s in your life as well.


Whenever, I feel low on confidence, I just walk into a shop with no intention to buy anything but to feel superior. I overcompensate for my lack of having and inflict the people below my food chain unrelenting abuse.


"How much is this, can u just give it to me let me see?" I asked pointing my fingers up and down whilst watching them dance ..he who pays the piper dictates the tune.


I loved all the attention, I dont care HOW IT COMES as long as it here to stay.


If I can smell or perceive you are lesser them. I will not consider you as being human. You are either superior or inferior, but rarely equal. Calling me names will not change that....its reality of life.

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You either in or out.... no inbetweens in my world.


What is a superiority complex?

People with a superiority complex have an inflated view of themselves and tend to think they are smarter, cleverer and better than others.

“I hate myself but I still think I’m better than everyone else”



CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT:  SELF-CENTRED V. EGO-CENTRED


..... here I was Starin' Through My Rear view - looking back at the world.

I know that being selfish is an ugly thing to be. That’s clear. But I can change if I can be convince...because deep inside we are human and change is constant.

"If you’re honest with yourself, would you say you’re a selfish person or a selfless person? 


How Self-gratification Ruins Everything but Kindness Heals

It is only in recent years that I have been able to recognise the impact of selfishness in my own life. 

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This ruthlessness in seeking my own happiness prevented me from achieving that happiness, and it got me into all types of trouble. It is a pity it took me so long to see this.


I only saw myself as a victim of circumstances. Sure, I had done some bad stuff, but ultimately, this was in response to the unfair things that had happened to me. I used to feel baffled and hurt because other people couldn’t see the nice person behind my selfish behavior.


So, which perspective is correct? Are we the victims or the villains? My guess is the answer is somewhere in the middle. 

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I need to heal...


By believing, ‘I was greater than everyone’, I entered into a competition with the world.


I want to come back home - GETTING BACK INTO THE WORLD:


Be clear on how your own strengths create your weaknesses. This is especially important if you want to be a leader. The best leaders show humility. They're the first to say they're far from perfect. There is no victory in defeating the poor, the broken, the helpless...

Have you ever seen a one sided football match or boxing...it not pleasant is it, it's painful to watch.

"Arsenal (1) vs Chelsea (4)"

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Appreciations Are Not To Be Taken Seriously Appreciating someone or being appreciated by others feels good and one should practice it. Being appreciated for something good is motivating and encouraging. But if you feel elated every time someone appreciates you, you need to stop taking appreciation too seriously. 

Bite your tongue before pointing out the mistakes of others. 

Telling people they're wrong is a blatant sign of superiority. Once you embarrass someone at work or anywhere, it can be hard to earn their trust and respect. They'd rather avoid working with you than risk being humiliated. 


Keeping in mind you can't go it alone... 📷

....you cant be the champions without the fans, you cannot be the boss or C.E.O without the workers. Giving someone a chance to save face is one of the best relationship building techniques you can leverage in the office.


We need to talk "let us fix ourselves..." 

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Leave behind your habit to see others as inferior by seeing positive in everyone and learn to say, ‘All are right from their viewpoint.’ Easier said than done? Sure! That doesn't mean it can't change, though!


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