NDK Flawless
Apr 21, 20196 min
About 15 years ago, I was there, I was in the moment of deceit and selfishness. All I can think about was taking my fellow student phone; he is not my friend or family, so I donāt have to care. I donāt have to consider his needs, and mine was far more important.
Whatever my decision will be, it must be quick. I have to act quick because the clock was ticking, and I was running out of time.
I looked around to make sure he had left the phone (Nokia 3310) in his bag and was busy living his best life; whilst, I suffer wanting, needing all that he has taken for granted.
I thought at the time the phone will change my life, it will turn my shame to glory, poverty to riches. I will be fulfilled andĀ Ā I will be on top once in my life.
But I was wrong, nothing changed. I would have given it back, but on my home that very same day I lost it. After that, I felt very guilty about what I had done. Now, after all these years I still feel guilt about that action.
The impact of theft ā Itās not just about the money
The emotional toll stemming from these incidents is so high that the impact can range from stressful, to debilitating and life-altering. These thefts incidents were not only committed by outsiders but by people you trusted,Ā Ā family insiders, friends, your own tribes, government.
For example āFinding out, after being rejected for job thousands of times, that your government had forged cheques and taken out loans under your name since you were five, which has a devastating economic impact and shattering emotional effects on every citizen.
I manipulated friends, my people, everyone around me. There are no limits to where I would not go to protect my self-interest.Ā Ā They trusted me so much that they still donāt think I stole from others. In my mind, Iām only taking ownership of my possession, I took back what the universe failed to give. I took my own destiny into my own hands.
Therefore, it came as a surprise to find out HE forgives.
The fact that you recognize your sin and feel bad about it should give you encouragement for several reasons. For one thing, a lot of people sin and donāt think thereās anything wrong with it ā yet God has opened your eyes to see how destructive it can be.
Are we running out of forgiveness?
Firstly, itās important to remember that so long as your repentance is sincere, inshaāAllah your sins will be forgiven.Ā Islam is not a religion of despair, for Allahās mercy is vast.
Allah has one hundred degrees of mercy, of which He sent down one among the jinn, mankind, the animals and the vermin, by virtue of which they show compassion and mercy to one another, and the wild animal shows compassion to its young.
I have atoned for my sinsā¦.either as a Christian or Muslim
There is very little that scares me and I will even go to say that I am not even afraid of death. Why?
I thought about all that I have done with my life and more specifically what I have done since my life was changed forever. I believe I have made a lasting impact, I have created incredible friendships, relationships, and I have affirmed to so many people how much love I have for them.
People let their past define their present and even their future. They let other people tell them what they will be and what they will not be. I believe we are all capable of doing great things, but we live in a society full of negativity, pressure, high standards, and fear.
So many people take each day for granted. So many people live in fear that they will never make something of themselves or let go of the past. So many people focus on the negative each day rather than appreciating all the things that went right that day.
Do You Feel Like the Clock Is Always Ticking?
A few weeks from now its my birthdayāIām really notĀ excited about it.
Iām getting older.
I think that, like me, a lot of people have decided on an age that they believe to be their āprimeā, their best, their pinnacle. It could be 18, 21, 25, 30 ā whatever. But whatever it is, itās the age we idealise and glamorise. ItāsĀ the age we find ourselves wishing we still were.
For me that age is 18.Ā It felt like time was on my side.
And every year past my āprimeā feels like another year of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. Another year of things I didnāt do andĀ habitsĀ I didnāt stick to.
Six years ago, I found myselfĀ trapped in a vicious cycle of procrastination and guilt.
Whenever I tried to do simpleĀ life tasks (like going to the gym, eating right and organising my time) it felt like IĀ was trying to move mountains!
After work, I was too exhausted to do anything more than make food and lay in bed watching another episode of my favourite show. I kept telling myself I deserved a break, but I never enjoyed it. I felt guilty for wasting my time.Ā And I wish it stopped there, but then I beat myself up for procrastinating!Ā I felt like I was behind everyone else and letting everyone down, so I procrastinated even more.
No matter how many hours I spent readingĀ motivation quotes or youtube videos or how many times I filled out a new planner, I just couldnāt make myself change ā even though I knew I was the one stopping myself from progressing. And I had all the advice right in front of me!
And it felt as if I was running out of time.
Here I am in mid 20s people asking me āwhen are you getting married, when are you going to settle down and have kids?ā
āNope, not yet,ā was my daily ritual. But mine situation is simple, but what about other women.Ā
They
Cry because sheās been pregnant 4 times and miscarried every one. They started trying for a baby on her wedding night, and that was 5 years ago.
Cry because the doctor said sheās fine, but deep inside she knows itās her and her husband blames himself, and that guilt makes him a hard person to live with.
When a woman is born, her ovaries contain all of the eggs she will ever use in her lifetime. Ā We frequently read stories about older aged celebrities becoming pregnant. Some of these women may become pregnant on their own, but it is more likely that they received some form of fertility treatment.
At some point in their lives, all these women thought that there were running out of time.
But, are we really running out of time?
I feel cheated. I was put in cryogenic sleep, but, unfortunately I did not wake up in time like Captain America. All of a sudden the fog cleared, I opened my eyes and screamed when I looked at myself in the mirror.
I demand a do-over! All the unfulfilled promises from my youth make me want to lie on my back and throw a big, giant tantrum.āBut I donāt wanna. NO! You canāt make me! Itās not fair!ā Waving my arms frantically to bat away the minutes. Covering my ears singing
If youāre stuck and feel like you can never figure out, then start with the following 5 ways.
Self-growth, self-help, self-improvement, wharever you can get your hands on.
Life is about growing and improving. We arenāt born with the answers, why not allow ourselves the grace toĀ improve?
Change is the only constant we have. Learn to slip into the flow of life, go where the ebb and flow takes you. Itās not survival of the fittest, itās those who can adapt best to change that will thrive.
Donāt fight it ā itās simply evolution.
The dark side. Go into it with courage.
We all have shadows ā the overwhelming doubts and fears that control the path we walk upon. Often they do it unnoticed and very subtly. We think the best way to get rid of them is to ignore them or run. But, quite simply itās just to turn around and face them.
ā
Why are you here? What is it you are trying to teach me?ā
It doesnāt have to be huge leaps, turtle crawls will do too if thatās all you can manage.
Be clear on what your dreams are, believe you can achieve them, and walk confidently towards them.
Understand why you want the dream. Itās a powerful fuel that will drive you forward and help you overcome all the hurdles trying to stop you from improving and achieving the dream.
It all started with
5. Improve your confidence
Confidence is not something reserved for special people, itās something weāre all born with. We just lose it once we gain an awareness of what others do and what failure is.
Weāre rejected by that our crush, we donāt get the job we want, we miss a payment, all these things chip away at our confidence until soon enough we start second guessing our every decision and whether weāre really worthy of anything.
We wish we could give you the magical answers to the above question. But only you can know whether you are running out of timeā¦.
Thank you so much for visiting.
Subscribe, like, comment & share to become a member of the family